I was at the public library some time ago…
When I was there, there was an adult woman there, sitting at a table with a young male child- I’m guessing that he was like 6 or 7. After viewing them interact, I concluded that she was his mother, I am not sure. What is important is what I saw.
The kid was frustrated. It seemed that he was attempting to complete some homework. The woman started to yell and him at degrade him for his lack of understanding. She was speaking to him as if he were an adult- her body language, facial expressions, words and tone were all completely inappropriate. It seemed that she was upset that he did not understand, but I also think that she was embarrassed that she did not understand how to explain it to him herself.
I looked at them quickly pack their things and leave their table. They walked out at a brisk pace.
I wish I could re-lived those moments, or if I could have caught on to what was happening in time to interject and help. I could have looked at his book or his notes and try to explain it … maybe I could have agreed to be his tutor or find someone who could.
I wanted to say, “Excuse me mam, you don’t understand this and you have the audacity to be mad at him when you don’t know how explain it yourself! Don’t talk to him like that!”
Sitting in silence, forgetting the reason for my visit to the library, I remembered her harsh words for some time after they left. I thought of the familiar adage that ‘people don’t remember what you say, but they remember how you made them feel’. I am not sure who I should quote for saying that, but I have heard that time and time again.
Instead of degrading him in front of people (or at all) she could have been honest and said, “I don’t know how to do this… let me see if I can find you some help.” She could have changed that whole situation with a little love.
… Years later, he will not remember what story it was that he did not understand type of math it was that he did not understand, but he would remember how she made him feel.
Love listens in a manner in which I cannot explain.I wish that she could have demonstrated love to him. But maybe be that meant that there is no love or care between them so, how could it be demonstrated?
Parents, love your children.
Pastors, love your followers.
Men and women, love your sisters, wives, brothers, every one.
Kill wickedness and evil with kindness.
Be kind to people, in all situations.
And when you can say a kind word, simply be quiet.
Love works and usually yields a positive response.
Overthrow the temptation to be evil, unkind, or sarcastic, and give love.