Close to Christ, Discipline, Jesus is Lord, Love

Difficulty in Singleness and in Marriage

A few days ago, a friend said, “Married people got it made, it’s us single people who are suffering!” Well, as a woman who can say, ‘I once was married but now I’m single.’ It is not good and moreover difficult to be single and holy but also ‘good’ in the eyes of God, therefore very difficult to be married and holy.

Think of this simple example.

You have just been hired. You have a choice of one of two jobs:

Job 1: You are asked to pull all of the red squares off of a conveyor belt as pieces slide pass you from the left to the right at 10 miles/hour. One thousand balls will pass you in the course of a hour. It’s an even mixture of colors: red, orange, yellow, blue and green.

Job 2: You are asked to pull all of the red, yellow and orange squares off of a conveyor belt as pieces slide pass you from the left to the right at 10 miles/hour. One thousand balls will pass you in the course of a hour. It’s an even mixture of colors: red, orange, yellow, blue and green.

All else being equal, it would be significantly easier to work on the first job.  With the first job, you will be allowed to focus on one thing your entire shift.

Why did I use this example? Keep reading!  What does the bible say about this?

– The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him (Genesis 2:18).

My first point is that marriage is a male-female relationship that was ordained by God. The enemies of God still hate God, they do not care about us and hate anything, any relationship or organization that is ordained by God.  Moreover, they proactively look to kill, steal and destroy things that He makes ordains and loves.

This point alone implies that it would be more difficult to properly stand in a relationship that God ordained to stand alone.

– When we are together, whether our intentions are good or bad, we accomplish whatever we want to accomplish. This is demonstrated through the building of the tower of babel (Genesis 11). Other accounts indicate that we are powerful when we work together also:

– Five can chase one hundred (Leviticus 26:8)

– Wherever two or three are gathered in my name, (saith the Lord) I will be in the midst (Matthew 18:20)

– A three-fold cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

– Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? (Ecclesiastes 4:11)

– One can chase one thousand two can put ten thousand to flight (Deuteronomy 32:20)

In the New Testament:

– And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.

2 And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.

3 And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them.

4 And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

5 And there were dwelling at Jerusalem Jews, devout men, out of every nation under heaven.

6 Now when this was noised abroad, the multitude came together, and were confounded, because that every man heard them speak in his own language.

7 And they were all amazed and marvelled … (Acts 2:1-7).


It is apparent that when we work together we can really wreak havoc on the enemies of God.  Moreover, the enemies of God hate it when we are together.   Think about how much more they hate it when we are a part of a permanent and committed relationship like marriage.

When I was single I had instructions (and now again, since I am single, due to divorce) from the bible:

… He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32).

There are many things that we can do as singles, since we are not intimately  tied up in the affairs of another human being, and we need to do them.

But we are instructed differently when married:

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2 Nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4 The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife.

5 Defraud ye not one the other, unless it be with consent for a time only, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not through your lack of self-restraint.

6 But I speak this by permission, and not by commandment.

7 For I would that all men were even as I myself am. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one in this manner and another in that.

8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn (I Corinthians 7:1-9).

There are other scriptures that directs married couples: husbands, love your wives … etc.

Moreover, another important and beautiful part of being married is the prospect of having children together- for the bible proclaims that children are an heritage unto the Lord (Psalm 127:3). Further, children are important to Christ and should be important to both parents.

All of this is very interesting to me, especially as I reflect the hurry to get married.

To be continued.



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